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My first chapter... Can someone edit for me?
CorrieI’d probably eaten enough peanut butter to last me a lifetime. My craze had started with the commercial; a teen is standing on the bow of a ship, he’s wearing sunglasses and drinking an ice tea. Then he turns to the camera and takes off his sunglasses."I’m having the time of my life on my Caribbean Adventure. And next summer fifty ordinary kids like you at home will have the chance to spend three months sailing the Caribbean like I am. All you have to do is find the letters to spell Caribbean on the lids of Mr. Sun’s Peanut Butter jars." The camera then zoomed out, showing the ship and the beautiful Caribbean ocean. I sat on my living room floor. My jaw gaping. Incredible. I decided right there and then that I would be going on that ship."Mom! I’m headed to the store!" I shouted through my house. Taking the stairs two at a time I raced into my room. It was a total mess. Where was my wallet? I searched through a pile of clothes and pulled it out of an old pair of faded jeans. My sister shouted something at me about being quiet but I barely heard her. I slammed the door and picked up my bike off of the lawn. Then racing like I was being chased I pedaled as fast as I could down the sidewalk. By the time I got to the store and stuck my bike in the rack my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it would rip from my chest. As I entered the store, breathing heavily the cashier gave me an odd look. God there were a lot of aisles. Vegetables and Fruit, Cereals, Pet Food, Frozen food. I searched through every aisle and then there they were right next to a bunch of jam. Mr. Sun’s Peanut Zoom Mrs Butter. There were fifteen jars altogether, at 1.97 each. I had over forty dollars in my wallet so I scooped them all up in my arms and headed for the checkout. I earned another odd look from the cashier when I dumped them onto the conveyor belt.When I got home I put all of the jars onto the kitchen table and opened the first jar. There was a silver coating with the word ‘scratch‘ on it. I pulled out a butter knife from the cutlery drawer and scratched the lid. The words ‘Try again!’ looked mockingly at me. "Darn it!" I picked up the next jar and started scratching away."What the heck are you doing? Is this some kind or crazy diet?" My sister Lily said as she came into the kitchen, looking at me as if I was crazy."Not crazy. Read the label." She looked at me sceptically and then picked up one of the jars. Her jaw dropped and she too got a butter knife and started scratching. At the end we had seven B’s, two A’s and an E. But we weren’t discouraged.Then three months, 109 peanut butter jars and 214.73$ later we were only missing an I and an N.One day as I was walking home from school my elderly neighbour Mrs. Adams stopped me."Why Corrie dear! How nice it is to see you. How are you?" She asked me."I‘m good Mrs. Adams." I replied."I was actually hoping to run into you. You see I’ve been saving up some of those peanut butter lids that you’ve been collecting. So here you go dear."""Thanks Mrs. Adams!" I said grinning widely. I said goodbye and sprinted for home."Lily!" I called as I came in the door. "Get your butt down here!" She came halfway down the stairs."What?""I have more letters!""Really? Oh let’s see!" We headed into the kitchen and placed out our letters. Lily took the bag with Mrs. Adams’ letters and pulled one out."An R." She said sadly and then took out the other one. "And an I! Oh my god! Corrie I’m going on the cruise!"My heart sunk. "That’s great Lily!" I tried to say happily. When Mrs. Adams had given me the bag I really thought that it would have the last two letters."Oh Corrie we’ll find yours!" She said enthusiastically.Later that evening I was walking the dog when I spotted something in someone’s trash. The familiar red lid with a cartoon sun on it stared at me."Oh my god, is this it?" I asked myself. Feeling like a hobo I ripped into the garbage bag. I pulled out the jar and took off the lid, it was unscratched. Using only my nails I scratched as the silver coating. Then finally I held the missing N in my hands.I ran fullspeed to get home. When I got inside I dumped the letters onto the table and put my N in with them. "Lily! Lily! Come down here!" I shouted and I could hear Lily running the stairs."What? What’s wrong?" She asked frantically."Nothing! We’re going to the Caribbean!" I said pointing to the letters on the table. There lay two perfectly completed sets of the word;C - A - R - I - B - B - E - A - NLily looked at me in astonishment."But how? What? Who?""Lily! We are going to the Caribbean!" I said again and Lily screamed."Oh my god!" She squealed, hugging me.Jake"Take care my darlings!" My mom said as she kissed my sister Celina on the cheek. "And Jake please, be careful!""I will mom!" I said exasperated."I know I know, I love you both so very much. See you in September!""Love you too mom." Celina a
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